The Lady I Never Knew

The Lady I Never Knew

Danette McMahon

On the day I was born a dream in my mother died
The one where baby makes three     
And daddy’s right by her side
I was five days old, it was a warm summer day
When she dressed me in pink and gave me away

Was I a dark secret she slipped under the rug
I was the child she’d never kiss and hug
Did she live with heartache—shadow of regret
If only she could hear my words

Chorus:
I’m alive, I can sing and I can dance
Because of her sacrifice, I have the chance
To live, to love, to laugh and cry
Be thankful I’m alive until the day I die

Her blood runs through me every breath I take
I’m one of God’s miracles not just someone’s mistake
I sing it loud and clear—strong and true
I sing it for the lady I never knew

I’m alive, I can sing and I can dance
Because of her sacrifice, I have the chance
To live, to love, to laugh and cry
Be grateful I’m alive until the day I die 

I’m alive, I can sing and I can dance
She paid a big price so I’d have the chance
To live, to love, to laugh and cry
And, praise God in heaven til the day I die.

Outro:

I sing it loud and clear
I sing it strong and true
This one is for the lady I never knew


Story

My breakthrough in becoming a songwriter was this one!  I started the lyrics in 1989, after being contacted by a member of my birth mother’s family.  She passed away at  51yrs,  from breast cancer.  My half sister started her search to find me.  She had heard about me when she was 17.  Her father was lecturing her about being careful out there with boys.  In his inebriated state, he added, “You don’t want to get pregnant like your mom and have to give a baby away.”  Hearing these words, her mom ran off to the bedroom, horrified and in tears! The subject was set aside until the cancer was stealing away her mother’s life and my half sister thought she might want her to find me.  The thought of that was too painful and she declined the offer. 

We’ve all seen the Hallmark movies, related to subjects like mine, that pull heartstrings and everyone is looking for the happy ending.  Well, happy endings look different for everyone.  Mine will forever be receiving the gift of inspiration to write the song “The Lady I Never Knew”.  It would open up a pathway to creativity I had never known before.

I had been working on the lyrics for many years, after meeting my half-sister, and finally started reaching out (with no success) for a co-writer to compose the music.  I twisted the arm of a guitar player, on my church worship team, to give it a try.  When I arrived at his home, I felt I’d entered a war zone (you know the husband and wife kind of thing that just couldn’t be put on hold until I left!) and the vibe in the air was definitely not conducive for making music come to life.  While they were butting heads, I felt possessed to walk over to his daughter’s little electric Casio piano a few feet away.  It just happened to be turned on and laid down three fingers…D, F, G.  It was exactly the chord I had been wanting to hear.  Tears started flowing and I told them I had to leave. I then added, “I never asked God to help me write this song!”  With the ringing of those three notes in my head, God had made it very clear that I was supposed to compose the music my lyrics needed.

I went home and stayed up all night writing out my chords, plus a bass note, using the alphabet. After 13 years working on the song, at the age of 51 (at the same age my birth mother died) I performed my tribute song at a church event for the ladies. I plunked through it, as best as I could, on my trusty ol’ YAMAHA PSR. It has been my friend for all of my originals!

Writing this song was part of my healing journey, as an adoptee.  Near the end of my mother’s life (my real mom…you know, the one who raised me!) I told her I’d like to play a demo of my song and I would appreciate her blessing. She had always told me she would be happy to help me, if I ever chose to search for my birth family, but that had never been my desire.

Mom was in an assisted living residence and the caregiver for mom’s neighbor happened to come in and she listened, as well.  When the song ended, the caregiver was in tears but had the sweetest smile on her face as she walked over to hug me. She shared that she had been raped by her father, at a very young age, got pregnant and had to give up the baby.  They had to go through extensive testing, DNA, etc., before comfortably placing her with adoptive parents. In later years, she was able to connect with her daughter and was at peace knowing she had had a very happy life.  She also told me there were many women out there who would be touched by my song.

I did receive my mom’s blessing.  Of course, I had to give her credit for all the many years of driving me back and forth to voice, guitar, clarinet, acting lessons and even a modeling course! She nurtured my love for music in every way she could and was one of my biggest fans!

Four years after completing my first song, I finally felt an urge to write again.  I decided to go back to college and that’s when I started studying arranging and composition with Joe LoCasio, at Houston Community College.  It was during this period, 2006-2007, that I wrote most of the songs on this album. I’m extremely grateful for “The Lady I Never Knew”!  She was a starting place for my life and the song…a launching pad for my songwriting adventures, and finally….AN ALBUM! 

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